Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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