Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize