Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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