god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
