I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
