Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
