As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
