Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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