I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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