My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
