Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
