whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
