do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
