I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
