my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
NoShamevember. You game?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
