so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
