NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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