And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i need some magic done to my vagina
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
