I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I cannot find my penis.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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