2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
