Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
