If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
do nipples grow back?
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