So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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