Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
