my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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