Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
