More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
