so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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