Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize