Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
