Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
