So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize