i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize