Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
