i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize