I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
