Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
