Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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