god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
