Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
