sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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