I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
