so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's shark week go big or go home
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
