a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
