So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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