A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize