I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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