We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
