I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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