nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
4 words: hood of his car
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize