i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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