I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
