its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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