who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
