do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
