Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
