can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if only i could text you this smell
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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