now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
