I cut my penus on the lid.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
