just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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