Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
