No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
